Aug 15 2008

Proving the obvious: and they call it “higher learning”

Category: higher education,humorharmonicminer @ 9:22 am

So, being an academic myself, I often find it embarrassing that so many pieces of research are undertaken to prove the obvious. Here is the latest.

For the first time, scientists have proven that “beer goggles” are real – other people really do look more attractive to us if we have been drinking.

Well, that certainly is surprising. Some other favorites of mine:

When close family members have terminal illnesses, the rest of the family has a hard time, too. (Some nursing professor got a government grant to prove this.)

People who are good-looking have easier lives than other people, all things being equal. (No… say it isn’t so.)

People whose minds drift while they are reading can’t remember what they read as well as other people. (Well… that certainly explains a lot.)

Students who do their homework learn better than students who don’t. (I finally figured this out after being graduated from college. Nice to know someone has finally proved it.)

Depressed people are more likely to commit suicide than un-depressed people. (Maybe they should drink more beer? Those beer goggles would cheer them up.)

People who exercise regularly and eat a balanced diet are healthier than people who are fat, sedentary, and eat a diet of potato chips and, well, beer. (Darn.)

And finally, my all-time favorite: men are more likely to watch the entire match in women’s beach volleyball than women. (No beer goggles needed here, but they may enhance the experience anyway.)

And here’s something I’d like to see researched:  Has any man ever committed suicide while watching a women’s beach volleyball game?  If not, maybe they should just run that all day, everyday, on the SPIKE channel.  If it saves even one life…..

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