Jan 27 2009

Madness Pelosi-style

Category: abortion,freedom,government,parenthoodamuzikman @ 2:44 am

Yesterday Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, announced that birth control (read as “abortion”) funding would be a part of the Obama economic stimulus package.

Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government.

So, according to Pelosi, the birth rate should be controlled for financial reasons.  Too many new babies could overwhelm our already stretched state budgets.

Well, I spent some time thinking about her comments and I think I may be able to go one better. Perhaps a lottery system could be put into place.  Those individuals (we don’t really say “families” any more) wishing to have a baby would have to register with the State of California Birth Lottery.  In fact, as another cost-saving measure we can have the California State Lottery run the birth lottery as well.  A scratcher could be included with each pregnancy test sold.  Scratch off to reveal 3 matching pictures of Pelosi and win the right to have a baby.

Of course there is also the Big Spin – but with the Birth Lottery we can call it the Big Insemination.  There will even be three “Twins” slots. But don’t let the ball land in a N.O.W. slot or you’ll have to get an abortion, paid for by the California Birth Lottery, of course!

Think of how easy it will be to control the state population – simply alter the odds of winning by changing the rules as needed.  And think of how much more lottery money will come in as those young couples purchase tickets by the thousands hoping for one of the lucky few birth licenses available.

Of course this is just the beginning.  If Pelosi thinks economic stimulus should include birth control, how much longer do you suppose we’ll have to wait before we see on-line Euthanasia Poker.  After all, if we’re doing this to reduce the financial burden for states then by all means let’s help keep those Medical and Medicare budgets in line by simply killing old people, terminal patients, and the mentally ill.  Most of the health care money is spent ion those types of patients and the action should result in considerable savings.  Remember – It’s about money, not life.

Yesiree, Euthanasia Poker should come shortly after nationalized health care.  When the government starts paying for health care then you know they’ll have to start making decisions about who should get care and who shouldn’t.  After all, the states are in a “terrible fiscal budget crisis now”.  One can’t expect EVERYONE to get the care they need – it’s just not realistic!  So brush up on your Texas Hold Em, if you don’t have a pair of jacks or better you might just be forced to “fold” and proceed directly to the Soylent Green line.

Do you think this sounds far fetched?  Me too. Except after hearing Pelosi yesterday you must admit it’s not out of the question.  NOTHING is out of the question these days.

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6 Responses to “Madness Pelosi-style”

  1. harmonicminer says:

    I’ll see your pair of kidney transplants, and raise you one quadruple bypass.

  2. bazzbo says:

    then of course once you win the birth lotto,
    you must pay the birthing tax.

  3. Paul Bahn says:

    then of coarse once you die, your family must pay the inheritance tax.

  4. rodcat7 says:

    Is there a tax yet on abortion? And along with the inheritance tax, isn’t there a tax just for dying?

  5. harmonicminer says:

    Yes, it’s collected from the estate of the aborted fetus.

  6. Sam says:

    This is absurd! The government would never let it come to a lottery-style system for birthing licenses…they’d just all go to the rich and influential!

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