Jul 23 2008

Barack’s extended family is SO proud he’s on tour

Category: Afghanistan,election 2008,Europe,humor,Iraq,media,Obama,politics,White Househarmonicminer @ 11:40 pm

to; george@sorosenterprises.com

Dear George,

Barack’s school theater troup is on a field trip. Isn’t he cute? Don’t you just LOVE the way he delivers speeches? Doesn’t he look GREAT up there? He sounds just like one of the grown-ups when he talks, as long as he stays on script.

He looked so adorable playing with the real soldiers. He could so totally play the role of president in a movie.

It’s pretty clear that improvisational theater will never be his thing, but hey, lots of fine actors just learn their lines and deliver them well, with suitable feeling and gesture.

Uncle Charlie, Uncle Brian and Aunt Katie are SO good with the video cameras: we’re all going to have some great home movies. Wasn’t it sweet of them to come along and video Barack’s trip for the rest of the family, and provide helpful narration of his better work? They’re so good at just getting his best performances on tape, and shooting from the best angles, and downplaying the awkward spots, or even just editing them out. We’ll have to have them over for dinner soon. It’s wonderful to have such fine people in the family.

Isn’t it cool how many of Barack’s friends came with him, and how much they help him get ready for each performance? It really is true that an actor isn’t much by himself, without all the little people backstage helping him out, doing his makeup, selecting wardrobe, helping him study his lines, and all that.

Not every kid gets to take an international tour at school expense, and only meet with the most famous people. I’m sure he’ll always cherish these moments, when he got to rub elbows with the real stars.

Maybe it’s my imagination, but I think our precocious Barack is having a kind of spiritual experience, feeling a oneness with the people he’s meeting, knowing that he’s really one of THEM, not so much a representative of his own family and school. That feeling of connecting with the audience and getting them to clap and cheer is what he lives for, and he knows he has the gift of making people laugh and cry. I have personally seen laughter turn to tears, in the audience at Barack’s more moving performances. It must really be wonderful to feel so good about yourself, and to know you have such power.

I think he’s probably going to INSIST that people back home treat him the same way from now on, and I’m sure his aunts and uncles will try to help him with that. They know lots of people in the business, and they’re obviously committed to helping him break in.

Barack has really learned how to deal with the critics, who just don’t have his talent. The critics keep blaming him for occasional bad scripts (as if they’re his fault!), even though he performs them flawlessly. And they keep confusing the real performances with his minor little improvisations along the side, and in interviews (when he gives one… He’s really too young to be put under such pressure). People can be so unkind. How can he possibly be expected to think of everything at once when people keep asking him hard questions, questions that other people have spent years thinking about and still aren’t totally sure of the answers? He needs time to think about it, just like anybody else. Trust is in such short supply these days.

After he gets back, once he’s got the audience in the palm of his hand, I think he’s going to raise ticket prices to something a lot more reasonable. He’ll probably give some free performances to the less fortunate, but those people who can afford it at all are really going to have to pony up to keep their season tickets. Or, I suppose, they could just give up and be poor… Then Barack will give them free performances, too. He says he has a way to make people pay for tickets even if they don’t want to attend the theater. I think that’s a good thing; people should support the arts, even if they don’t like them personally.

Also, his friends say (I suspect correctly) that he plans to see what he can do to keep less talented actors and critics from getting so much attention from the public. How can the public be expected to develop any real sense of taste when they’re constantly getting bombarded with unreasonable critics attacking the real stars? Barack plans to do something about that when he has a large enough audience and is in control of a lot more theatrical budgets. Some people just really shouldn’t be allowed on the stage at all. Or even in the theater.

Due to his popularity, I think he’s going to get to appoint the judges for the next talent contest. I’m sure he’ll pick judges with good taste, just like him. And that should help him shut up the unreasonable critics, too.

I hope this update finds you in good health and ready to fund the arts group that is supporting Barack’s next theatrical engagements.

Your friend,



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