Jul 21 2012

The real first chapter of Genesis

Category: economy,freedom,funny but sad,God,government,humorharmonicminer @ 3:42 pm

Deep in the bowels of the third basement level of the Sears Tower in Chicago, a heretofore unknown manuscript has been discovered, a scroll believed by Keynsian scholars to predate the earliest known copy of the book of Genesis by at least two centuries.

It is now available for public viewing on the internet.

You only THOUGHT you knew the real story of Creation.

Sep 12 2011

What do you get when you mix Evil Kenevil and Kenny G?

Category: funny but sad,humoramuzikman @ 8:55 am

Finn  Martin in a 'Vertigo' performance in Paris

Swedish artist plunges to his death in Germany

A Swedish musician plummeted 20 metres to his death at the weekend during a performance at a street festival in Leipzig, Germany.

The man, Finn Martin, was supposed to use a rope to help him vertically slide down the façade of a building while playing a saxophone before dozens of cheering fans late Friday evening. But during the attempt, the harness apparently broke and Martin plunged to his death before the shocked audience.
A doctor quickly determined that the 49-year-old performer had died from the impact.
Police said they were investigating the incident under the assumption that safety devices had failed and were also looking into whether participants had been under the influence of alcohol.
The performer was scheduled to do his 15-minute act four times while video images were displayed onto the building façade.
“He was a world-class artist, one of the top-ten saxophone players in the world, but almost unknown in Sweden,” Martin’s cousin Peter Martin, told the Aftonbladet newspaper. Finn Martin had carried out similar dare-devil performances, which he called ‘Vertigo’, many times in recent years.
In 2005 he played on the façade of a tower in Cologne that was nearly 150 metres tall.
On his website, Martin referred to Vertigo as “an unusually emotional music aerial performance”.
While he was born in Sweden, Martin has lived abroad for most of his career.
According to his cousin, Martin’s dare-devil performances were used to help him finance musical projects in West Africa.
“Finn had a passion for African music,” his cousin Peter Martin told Aftonbladet. “His art was his life and he was an artist and musician from every pore of his body.”
I want to feel bad for this poor chap, I really do.  But there’s only just so much sympathy one can muster for an obvious Darwin Award finalist.
Do you suppose the last thing this guy heard was the bridge to “Over the Rainbow”? (very inside musician’s joke)
I can just hear all the sax players cringing right now, praying he wasn’t playing a Mark VI
I suppose now we’ll start seeing a lot of “Don’t drink and play the sax hanging from the side of a tall building” stickers on public vehicles.
And how about that doctor!  Imagine being able to make such a difficult determination so quickly.  I suppose the fact that he had an Otto Link sax mouthpiece protruding from the back of his head provided some key evidence.
Well at least it’s a good day for the formerly eleventh-best sax player in the world…

Aug 10 2011

The “mock the spending” youtube channel

Category: Congress,economy,funny but sad,government,Group-think,liberty,mediaharmonicminer @ 11:46 am

Here is the youtube channel that explains in very simple, short videos, what the problem is with government spending, regulation, and general uncalled for interference in our lives, with equal time spent on nannystaters, regulators, and general busybodies.


It’s called “Mock The Spending,” obviously a takeoff on “Rock the vote.”


Here’s one of the videos, but there are many, and the whole channel is pretty entertaining.

This is an especially funny one called, “If the government patched World of Warcraft”:



Aug 22 2010

Today’s Headlines – Pithy Responses

Category: funny but sad,humoramuzikman @ 8:55 am

U.S. may sue Arizona’s Sheriff Arpaio for not cooperating in investigation

We gotta find some way to stop these local law enforcement people from enforcing the law!

Gore calls for major protests on government’s climate change inaction

Doggone that climate!, it just won’t cooperate! Maybe he can organize a personal masseuse climate boycott.

Islamic Center Backers Won’t Rule Out Taking Funds from Saudi Arabia, Iran

And if we take issue with this mosque being funded by those who wish us harm then the left labels us as religious intolerants.

Lone juror ‘refused to find Blagojevich guilty’

P.T Barnum was right.  Anyone ever seen the movie “Runaway Jury”?

Obama says housing glut hindering economic recovery

So far so good, Mr. President.  Just remember, as you progress the game gets harder.  Now, here is your next question:  What caused the housing glut?

Murdoch $1m donation may not prove bias

So says Goldman Sachs partner Gary Gensler – Obama’s Commodity Futures Trading Commission head. Or was it former Goldman Sachs lobbyist Mark Patterson who serves under Geithner as his top deputy and overseer of TARP bailout.  No, I’m sure it was Obama’s close hometown crony, campaign-finance chief and senior adviser Penny Pritzker, who was head of Superior Bank of Chicago, a subprime specialist that went bust in 2001, leaving more than 1,400 people stripped of their savings after bank officials falsified profit reports.  Any one of these would surely be an authority on the issue of favoritism!

Two Dem Congressional candidates go on hunger strike, one gets enema

Which is only fair and somehow fitting since the Democratic Party has been shoving things up our backsides for some time now.

American Airlines Finds Another Creative Way to Charge Customers

Let me guess… rental fees for personal flotation devices on flights over water?  Paid barf bag dispensers? 8X10’s of personal body scan images showing the pretty redhead in row 12E?  (suitable for framing!)

Athlete blames cat over drunk driving charge / Facing Ethics Charges, Rep. Waters Points Finger at Bush Administration

In both cases the essential verb is “blame”.  Ya gotta blame something or somebody!

11 PM to 4 AM: Michigan high school football team practicing at night: Accommodate Muslim players during Ramadan

No, this doesn’t mean you can now erect a manger scene during the “winter holiday” season.  That would be unconstitutional.

Aug 07 2010

Portland lemonade stand runs into health inspectors, needs $120 license to operate

Category: funny but sadamuzikman @ 8:09 am
This is an article from a writer named Helen Jung.  It appeared on Oregonlive.com

It’s hardly unusual to hear small-business owners gripe about licensing requirements or complain that heavy-handed regulations are driving them into the red.

So when Multnomah County shut down an enterprise last week for operating without a license, you might just sigh and say, there they go again.

Except this entrepreneur was a 7-year-old named Julie Murphy. Her business was a lemonade stand at the Last Thursday monthly art fair in Northeast Portland. The government regulation she violated? Failing to get a $120 temporary restaurant license.

Turns out that kids’ lemonade stands — those constants of summertime — are supposed to get a permit in Oregon, particularly at big events that happen to be patrolled regularly by county health inspectors.

“I understand the reason behind what they’re doing and it’s a neighborhood event, and they’re trying to generate revenue,” said Jon Kawaguchi, environmental health supervisor for the Multnomah County Health Department. “But we still need to put the public’s health first.”

Julie had become enamored of the idea of having a stand after watching an episode of cartoon pig Olivia running one, said her mother, Maria Fife. The two live in Oregon City, but Fife knew her daughter would get few customers if she set up her stand at home.

Plus, Fife had just attended Last Thursday along Portland’s Northeast Alberta Street for the first time and loved the friendly feel and the diversity of the grass-roots event. She put the two things together and promised to take her daughter in July.

The girl worked on a sign, coloring in the letters and decorating it with a drawing of a person saying “Yummy.” She made a list of supplies.

Then, with gallons of bottled water and packets of Kool-Aid,  they drove up last Thursday with a friend and her daughter. They loaded a wheelbarrow that Julie steered to the corner of Northeast 26th and Alberta and settled into a space between a painter and a couple who sold handmade bags and kids’ clothing.

Even before her daughter had finished making the first batch of lemonade, a man walked up to buy a 50-cent cup.

“They wanted to support a little 7-year-old to earn a little extra summer loot,” she said. “People know what’s going on.”

Even so, Julie was careful about making the lemonade, cleaning her hands with hand sanitizer, using a scoop for the bagged ice and keeping everything covered when it wasn’t in use, Fife said.

After 20 minutes, a “lady with a clipboard” came over and asked for their license. When Fife explained they didn’t have one, the woman told them they would need to leave or possibly face a $500 fine.

Surprised, Fife started to pack up. The people staffing the booths next to them encouraged the two to stay, telling them the inspectors had no right to kick them out of the neighborhood gathering. They also suggested that they give away the lemonade and accept donations instead and one of them made an announcement to the crowd to support the lemonade stand.

That’s when business really picked up — and two inspectors came back, Fife said. Julie started crying, while her mother packed up and others confronted the inspectors. “It was a very big scene,” Fife said.

Technically, any lemonade stand — even one on your front lawn — must be licensed under state law, said Eric Pippert, the food-borne illness prevention program manager for the state’s public health division. But county inspectors are unlikely to go after kids selling lemonade on their front lawn unless, he conceded, their front lawn happens to be on Alberta Street during Last Thursday.

“When you go to a public event and set up shop, you’re suddenly engaging in commerce,” he said. “The fact that you’re small-scale I don’t think is relevant.”

Kawaguchi, who oversees the two county inspectors involved, said they must be fair and consistent in their monitoring, no matter the age of the person. “Our role is to protect the public,” he said.

The county’s shutdown of the lemonade stand was publicized by Michael Franklin, the man at the booth next to Fife and her daughter. Franklin contributes to the Bottom Up Radio Network, an online anarchist site, and interviewed Fife for his show.

Franklin is also organizing a “Lemonade Revolt” for Last Thursday in August. He’s calling on anarchists, neighbors and others to come early for the event and grab space for lemonade stands on Alberta between Northeast 25th and Northeast 26th.

As for Julie, the 7-year-old still tells her mother “it was a bad day.” When she complains about the health inspector, Fife reminds her that the woman was just doing her job. She also promised to help her try again — at an upcoming neighborhood garage sale.

While Fife said she does see the need for some food safety regulation, she thinks the county went too far in trying to control events as unstructured as Last Thursday.

“As far as Last Thursday is concerned, people know when they are coming there that it’s more or less a free-for-all,” she said. “It’s gotten to the point where they need to be in all of our decisions. They don’t trust us to make good choices on our own.”

The last quote above is so very true.  It is true of lemonade stands.  It is also true about health care, automobiles, retirement, education, food, guns, etc, etc, etc…  On the other hand I suppose this is perfectly understandable really, when you consider how many plagues and epidemics can be shown to trace back to child lemonade stands.

May 08 2010

A Shakespearian Leader For Our Time

Category: Congress,Democrat,funny but sadamuzikman @ 8:55 am

Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.

William Shakespeare

After reading this article I can only wonder which of these attributes of greatness applies to the esteemed junior Senator from the great State of Minnesota.  Given the times in which we live, given the magnitude and seriousness of so many national and international issues facing our great nation, it is of great comfort to know Stewart Smalley is on the job!

The people from the land of 10,000 lakes must be so proud.

Feb 19 2010

G-G-G-Global W-W-W-W-Warming (It’s hard to say when you’re shivering!) UPDATE

Category: Al Gore,funny but sad,global warmingamuzikman @ 9:00 am

A recent group of headlines from the Drudge Report:

If I were a cartoonist I’d draw Al Gore giving a speech on global warming somewhere outdoors.  In every frame of the cartoon he’d have to pause his speech and put on another layer of clothing as the weather worsened and the temperature dropped.  The last frame would show him so bundled up that he could neither be seen or heard.

…..Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he?

UPDATE: I was taken to task over this original post.  Here is an example of one critical comment. There are others.

But your claim that a cold winter is “evidence” against global warming is downright foolish, and shows either a) an interest in misleading people, or b) a blatant misunderstanding of climate change research.

Now watch this archival footage showing a series of Democrat politicians claiming that a warm winter and lack of snow was concrete evidence of global warming.   Which just further underlines the fact that a) a double standard exists, and b) those who think anthropogenic global warming exists do so as a matter of belief rather than of fact.  It’s almost a climate religion.

Jun 26 2009

Quick, what’s scarier? Missing nukes, or missing bugs?

Category: funny but sad,government,military,national securityharmonicminer @ 9:00 am

Thousands of uncatalogued pathogens found at US lab

With three days left in spring cleaning season, a US army lab that works on the world’s deadliest pathogens has turned up uncatalogued vials of Ebola, anthrax, plague and other pathogens – 9220 of them to be precise.

The laboratory is the same one where anthrax researcher Bruce Ivins worked before he committed suicide last year. The US government suspects Ivins was behind the 2001 anthrax attacks that killed five people, and studies showed that the anthrax used in the attack was “directly related” to the batch stored at the lab.

The discovery of the uncatalogued vials raises questions about whether anyone would notice if some of the lab’s pathogens went missing.

“A small number would be a concern; 9200 … at an institution that has been the focus of intense scrutiny on this issue, that’s deeply worrisome. Unacceptable,” Richard Ebright, a microbiologist at Rutgers University, told the Washington Post.

If you see some guys in white lab coats selling vials of “special fragrance” at the swap meet, I suggest you find someplace else to shop.  I’m not sure if this is scarier than missing Russian suitcase nukes, but it’s at least competitive on the scare-o-meter.  Does anybody think that the anthrax-spreading misanthrope is the only geek with a big brain and a tiny moral center? 

There are days when I wonder if the human race is just too stupid to live.  Then I’ll buck up a bit, and start feeling less pessimistic.  But not long after that, I’ll hear a bunch of people, who should know better, waxing rhapsodic about the wonderfulness of government mananged healthcare for the future.  It reminds me, as if I needed reminding, that the innumerate and the illiterate have no defenses against technocrats, their natural predators.

If the missing Russian nukes, the Iranian nukes, the North Korean nukes, or the pathogenic terrorists don’t get us, then it’ll be the nanotech that does it, when the first self-replicating machine (originally designed to “eat waste at toxic waste-dumps”) turns the entire Earth into a gigantic orbiting pile of staples — covered, incidentally, with Ebola spores.

I’m sure they’ll be very useful to someone (the staples, that is).  I expect that the Intragalactic Council on Emerging Technology (ICE-T) will have a LOT of reports to fill out.

May 03 2009

Putting a smiley face on carbon taxes

As most of us know, half the battle is controlling the terms of the debate. And sometimes, it seems, if you want to sell something that few are buying, you need to consult a thesaurus.

Environmental issues consistently rate near the bottom of public worry, according to many public opinion polls. A Pew Research Center poll released in January found global warming last among 20 voter concerns; it trailed issues like addressing moral decline and decreasing the influence of lobbyists. “We know why it’s lowest,” said Mr. Perkowitz, a marketer of outdoor clothing and home furnishings before he started ecoAmerica, whose activities are financed by corporations, foundations and individuals. “When someone thinks of global warming, they think of a politicized, polarized argument. When you say ‘global warming,’ a certain group of Americans think that’s a code word for progressive liberals, gay marriage and other such issues.”

The answer, Mr. Perkowitz said in his presentation at the briefing, is to reframe the issue using different language. “Energy efficiency” makes people think of shivering in the dark. Instead, it is more effective to speak of “saving money for a more prosperous future.” In fact, the group’s surveys and focus groups found, it is time to drop the term “the environment” and talk about “the air we breathe, the water our children drink.”

“Another key finding: remember to speak in TALKING POINTS aspirational language about shared American ideals, like freedom, prosperity, independence and self-sufficiency while avoiding jargon and details about policy, science, economics or technology,” said the e-mail account of the group’s study.

Are Americans really this stupid?

Well, yes.  They elected Obama hoping for unspecified change.  Any old direction will do, it would seem.  They bought Clinton’s “contributions” for taxes, radical feminism’s “pro-choice” for anti-unborn child and pro-abortion, “gun control” for “guns for criminals only”, and “hate speech” for telling the truth, or at least exercising your First Amendment right to speak your mind.

One of the best ways to lie is just to pretend not to hear anyone who’s telling the truth, and keep right on as if they never spoke.  That’s exactly what’s happening in our national conversation, as the Left rules all the media but talk radio, and is gunning for that, too.  So “global warming” has morphed into “climate change” and “carbon taxes” is going to be “anti-pollution fees”, and so on.

In the meantime, if you had to bet, the smart money is that the earth is cooling, overall.  And the smarter money knows that even if it isn’t, the change is very gradual, probably has little to do with human activity, and it isn’t even clear that it will be a bad thing.

And by the way:  there were polar bears around when the earth was so warm that Greenland was verdant farm land, with nary a glacier in sight.  (That’s why it’s called GREENLAND.)   Somehow, the bears survived.

I suspect they will again.

Nov 04 2008

“A twisted dollop of evil scum”: the man has a way with words

Category: funny but sad,humorsardonicwhiner @ 9:13 am

Beldar speaks

ABC News’ Jake Tapper reports (h/t InstaPundit) that Bill Ayers voted this morning at Chicago’s Shoesmith Elementary School, shortly before another “guy from his neighborhood,” Barack Obama.

I’m sure someone had the job this morning of making sure that they were never in the same room, or otherwise capable of being captured within the same camera viewfinder, at the same time.

Ayers has the legal right to vote only because law enforcement screw-ups prevented him from being prosecuted for and convicted of the multiple felonies to which he’s confessed. He remains, however, a twisted dollop of evil scum, a description that I’m quite proud will be forever associated with his name in major online search engines.

Actually, Ayers didn’t vote for Obama. He is widely believed to have planned to write in Che Guevara, with whom he shares more in common. After all, the graveyard vote is big in Chicago, and we don’t have Barry’s birth certificate, either. And Che was widely reported to have been born in the Argentine American Embassy, legally American ground, so he could qualify, too.

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