I know it’s an oldie, but a friend sent it to me, and we all can use a laugh right now.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?<\/p>\n
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!<\/p>\n
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with
\nall the chickens on the other side of the road…
\nSARAH PALIN: Because by golly, I was gonna shoot his sorry liberal ass for blockin’ my view of Russia !
\nHILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
\nto ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
\nGEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
\nThe chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
\nDICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
\nCOLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
\nBILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?
\nAL GORE: I invented the chicken.
\nJOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
\nabout the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
\nAL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
\nDR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before
\nit goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current
\nproblems before adding new problems.
\nOPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
\nchicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
\nand not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
\nANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
\nNANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
\nPAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.<\/p>\n
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my
\neggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
\nDR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
\nERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
\nJERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the other side.
\nYes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
\nabomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road.
\nIt’s as plain and as simple as that.
\nGRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
\nBARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of
\nhow it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
\nARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
\nJOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
\nBILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
\nand balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash.
\nALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
\nCOLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?<\/p>\n