{"id":2998,"date":"2010-08-30T08:55:58","date_gmt":"2010-08-30T15:55:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harmonicminer.com\/wordpress\/?p=2998"},"modified":"2010-08-29T19:47:07","modified_gmt":"2010-08-30T02:47:07","slug":"more-headlines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harmonicminer.com\/wordpress\/2010\/08\/30\/more-headlines\/","title":{"rendered":"More Bizarre Headlines – More Witty Repartee"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are enough dreary\u00a0 headlines these days to depress even the most stouthearted optimist.\u00a0 Then there are these<\/em> headlines…OK, I took a crack at each of these.\u00a0 They were just too good to pass up.\u00a0 Let’s hear from some of you other humorists.\u00a0 Pick one or more of these recent headlines and give me your best one-line responses.\u00a0 And please try to retain a modicum of decency!\u00a0 My mom reads this stuff.<\/p>\n

Bedtime Story: 1-in-4 Grown Men Travel With a Stuffed Animal<\/a><\/p>\n

I wonder if the same percentage of men sleep in footed pajamas.<\/p>\n

Woman Nabbed For Auto Erotic Crime – Cincinnati woman was caught multitasking herself in Pontiac<\/a><\/p>\n

OK, but did we really have to be told about it?\u00a0 Imagine being the newspaper writer assigned to this gem of a story.<\/p>\n

“Beat Whitey Night” At Iowa State Fair: Cops probe whether attacks were racially motivated<\/a><\/p>\n

well, “duh!”<\/p>\n

Cuba to withdraw cheap cigarettes for elderly: Cuba’s elderly will no longer be entitled to state-subsidized cigarettes, the government has said.<\/a><\/p>\n

Has Michael Moore been made aware of this?<\/p>\n

A no-show for 12 years, worker in Norfolk still paid<\/a><\/p>\n

I know a certain president whom I would happily pay to be a no-show.<\/p>\n

Murdered Spook Was A Cross-Dresser<\/a><\/p>\n

Clearly NOT a headline from a Vince Flynn novel<\/p>\n

Restaurants scramble after massive egg recall<\/a><\/p>\n

OK, even I wouldn’t stoop this low…<\/p>\n

Man, shot in head, notices five years later<\/a><\/p>\n

How much you wanna bet he’s a Democrat?<\/p>\n

Young Ho races to win in 37th Dammit Run<\/a><\/p>\n

Wait……what?<\/p>\n

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