Flights resume in Europe but travel chaos not over
Many European flights took to the skies Tuesday for the first time in days but the travel chaos was far from over: London’s airports were still closed, a massive flight backlog was growing and scientists feared that history could repeat itself with yet another volcanic eruption in Iceland.
Airports in London, including Heathrow, the busiest in Europe, won’t reopen until Wednesday at the earliest and forecasters said more delays were possible if the volcanic ash cloud stayed over much of the country.
In the spirit of those who think God directly sent an earthquake to kill tens of thousands of people in Haiti, I have a list of reasons that God is punishing Europe with an Icelandic volcano that is filling the sky with ash. Or maybe blessing Europe with it.
10) God really hates techno-trash Euro-dance music.
9) God is getting really tired of all this nonsense about global warming… as if puny humans have any serious impact on the weather, let alone the climate. Who IS God around here, after all? Hint: not the fossil fuel industry.
8) God hates French food.
7) God hates English food.
6) God hates movies with subtitles.
5) God is hoping Europeans will take refuge in empty cathedrals, and possibly rediscover Him.
4) God has secretly always wanted to fly an airplane, and is now practicing, zipping around in the ash clouds where no one can see Him. He has always liked hiding Himself in clouds. (This one was for the Process Theologians.) After all, God gets bored sometimes, too.
3) God was really just trying to keep Al Gore out of the air (in his private jet).
2) God, not being a global-warming denier, was just trying to help, by putting some ash in the sky to reflect some of the Sun’s energy back out into space, and cool things down a little. But humans, being human, merely complain at His Divine Providence.
1) God REALLY hates French food.
