Aug 28 2008

My life verse

Category: humor,theologysardonicwhiner @ 9:00 am

It has become popular in Christian circles for people to talk about their “life verse”, as if anyone’s life can be reduced to any sentence or two, no matter how profound and spiritual. It’s probably a heresy to believe such a thing… I’ll figure out which one later.

So, just to get into the spirit of things:

My life verse is “what can go wrong may very well go wrong”, found in the apocryphal Gospel of Murphy, in the 13th chapter (which ain’t the love chapter, trust me). In fact, I believe it’s the 13th verse, reportedly revealed to Murphius Morphius (his Latin name) on a Good Friday the 13th, a divine gift to explain why Morphius’ scribe tripped and impaled himself on his reed pen, forcing Morphius to write it down himself, in blood, the scribe’s blood, left ventricular, I do believe.

I know, you’re thinking I got it wrong, and the verse is really, “What can go wrong WILL go wrong.” That’s because you’ve been reading inaccurate translations that collapse the rich meaning of the original Greek dialect (a rare, almost unknown mixture of classic northern Greek, southern Macedonian, and Turkish delight). This dialect employs the ablative case, in which extra meaning must be rhetorically “scraped off” before the nugget of true meaning is exposed. (This was necessary to keep British (Druid) tourists from knowing what the locals were saying about them.) So some translators err on the side of scraping off just a bit too MUCH meaning, and lose the central point.

Clearly, if it was true that, “What can go wrong WILL go wrong,” this post would never have been created and successfully installed on this website. I suppose there may be other points of view on that.

I’m glad he didn’t compose music.

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