Oct 31 2008

Election Day has been rescheduled for Democrat voters

Category: humorsardonicwhiner @ 2:26 pm

Because of the enormous numbers of new voters this year, and because of the high degree of partisanship in the current election cycle, the Federal Election Commission has made a very controversial decision, namely that staggered election days are the only option, in order to be sure that all registered voters are given the opportunity to vote, without possible duress from the other side.

According to Peter Swindle, Director of the Commission, speaking to the Associated Press:

The Federal Election Commission has been approached by several non-partisan bodies to make adjustments to the schedule of voting, in order to have a smoother flow of voters into and out of the polls, shorten waiting lines, and guarantee all registered voters an opportunity to vote without duress.

For that reason, the Commission has decided that voters who are registered as Democrats should vote on Wednesday, November 5, 2008.  Voters who are registered as Republicans should vote on Tuesday, November 4, 2008.  Voters are reminded that they are not required to vote for the party of their registration.  In addition to easing the schedule, this staggered voting system is also being implemented to prevent voters of different parties from having to wait in line together, and possibly experience pressure from voters of another party.

Immediately following the announcement, Republican party activists filed a lawsuit with the 1st Federal District Court in Washington, D.C., alleging that the real motivation in the scheduling change was to allow Democrats to know how many votes they had to get in order to win the election, simply by counting Republican ballots that will be cast on Tues, Nov.4.  Republican spokesman John Galt (former speech writer for Nathaniel Brandon) charges that the Democrats will simply drive people around to vote in different districts, until the appropriate number is reached to defeat the Republicans.  Under the new election laws, provisional votes must be accepted for any voter.  Given recent Supreme Court rulings, it is not clear what voter or group of voters may bring a challenge to these provisional votes, so that, conceivably, Democrat votes may be counted twice, if cast in different precincts.

Democrat grass roots organizations scoff at this, saying they have enough registrations to win the election without resorting to double voting.

For Republicans voting on Tuesday, November 4, and Democrats voting on Wednesday, November 5, this new system should allow waiting lines at the polls that will be mercifully free of fistfights, although some concern has been expressed about drive-by shootings, since it will be obvious which party is voting on which day.

I voted by mail, just to be safe.

2 Responses to “Election Day has been rescheduled for Democrat voters”

  1. Sam says:

    The way this zany “impartial” election is going I had to double check to make sure this was a joke. Sadly, after everything that’s happened, this is not too far-fetched.

  2. sardonicwhiner says:

    What do you mean, joke?

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